Differential
by witchwannaB
Summary: Mandy Brocklehurst has her choices wide open. There's just one problem: she has no idea where to take her life. Her only pleasure comes from watching the people around her. But when a certain boy starts telling her his secrets, Mandy's world takes a sudde
1. How much longer can this last

Mandy Brocklehurst gave Professor Sprout a small smile, thanking her for giving Ravenclaw ten points as a reward for Mandy answering a question correctly. It was the first class of her sixth year, the sun was shining brightly outside Greenhouse Four, and so far the day held nothing out of the ordinary. Gazing around the room, Mandy quickly slipped into her favorite activity: watching. Although observing the people around her gave her pleasure, Mandy felt rather indifferent as to what her classmates were doing. It was their lives, not hers, and as much as she wished they could switch, she knew it was impossible. And so, she felt merely as though nothing they were doing really mattered.

Vincent Crabbe appeared to be taking a nap, his head cradled in his thick arms. Eden Du doodled all over a one-foot piece of parchment, covering it with hearts of various sizes drawn in dark blue ink. Pansy Parkinson was desperately trying to catch Blaise Zabini's eye, even going as far as making little coughing noises like Dolores Umbridge. Blaise, however, was attentively listening to Professor Sprout and seemed quite unaware that Pansy was even in the greenhouse. Mandy didn't think he liked Pansy very much, or at least wasn't interested in what she wanted. Anthony Goldstein, who went by Ant, was looking wistfully out at the sunny grounds. His friend, Michael Corner, was slowly lowering a piece of parchment that read 'Jinx me' onto Anthony's back with his mahogany wand.

As Mandy continued to observe, she just barely saw out of the corner of her eye a certain blonde, turning away from her as she, in turn, looked his way. She blinked.

_"Draco Malfoy was looking at you,"_ she told herself in a puzzled tone, brushing a strand of straight brown hair out of her face.

Draco was one of her favorite people to watch and study. He seemed so cruel and heartless on the outside, but every now and then she witnessed something that made her believe him to be a good person underneath. He seemed unaware that he sometimes let his guise slip. She pitied him, frankly. To her, he seemed trapped in a narcissistic, harsh, and meaningless life. He was probably aching to leave it.

But why was he looking at her? She was just the Ravenclaw girl in the back of Herbology, silently earning the highest grade in the class. She wasn't anything extraordinary with her tan skin and brown eyes. She didn't even have any friends, at least, not since the end of her fourth year when her best friend Lisa Turpin started going out with Terry Boot. Now Lisa spent all of her time with Terry and his friends, and rarely even talked to her. Now Mandy just blended into the scenery around everyone else without Lisa to acknowledge her existence. So why was Draco looking at her as something other than a wall? It wasn't in his nature. Or, she corrected herself quickly, it wasn't in the nature he showed the world…

Mandy slowly brought her eyes back onto Professor Sprout. It would not do for her to be so deep in thought that she missed the rest of the lesson right up to a possible homework assignment. She could always catch up in the library later, but she felt that wouldn't be a good way to start her sixth year. And since she had no idea what NEWTs she'd need for her nonexistent career choice, she needed to pay attention in all of her classes. The Herbology professor was quite interesting to watch herself, in any case.

A dozen minutes or so passed this way, with Mandy listening to Professor Sprout, but she found her attention wandering back to the blonde Slytherin at the other end of Greenhouse Four. She wondered if he was truly all he seemed to be. She found herself hoping that he wasn't. How else would she explain the odd seconds when he seemed caring, or sympathetic, or lonely? He was so wonderfully difficult to figure out and place in a category with all the others that for a minute Mandy forgot who she was: nobody. Why did she even bother trying to dissect him? Even if she did somehow manage to find something, anything, to support her theory, no one would listen. Actually, no one would hear, because Mandy had no one to tell. So doing this was pointless.

And he could never help her with her problem. Draco Malfoy had no idea who Mandy Brocklehurst was, even less than Mandy herself did. He may have been looking at her just twenty minutes ago, but that meant nothing. He was probably just bored, like everyone else in the class. It was nothing to get excited about. Sighing, Mandy firmly placed her attention back on Professor Sprout. She couldn't spend time thinking about Draco Malfoy when she had a life to create.

The Morning House

_Walking in silence along the empty house  
Early morning not enough to lighten  
Everything  
All quiet but for a few birds outside the window  
I go about my business, not caring  
Unseeing  
As morning brightens I slowly appear  
No one in the silent old house  
Nothing  
Stopping you from intruding into_


	2. An excuse, any excuse

Mandy hurriedly left Greenhouse Four, taking her schedule out of her bag to see what class she had next as she went. Perhaps if she moved quickly enough she wouldn't have a chance to think about Draco. Why was it all of a sudden she couldn't stop thinking about him? After all, he was quite near the end of the list of people who could help her become a real person with a real life. People like him were part of the problem, not seeing Mandy as a fellow human for a single second. She had thought she had better self-control than that.

Mandy slowed her pace as she entered the Charms classroom; it would not do to accidentally knock tiny Professor Flitwick over, especially on her first day back. Already sitting in the classroom were three of her year-mates; Terry Boot and Lisa Turpin, huddled close over their adjacent desks, and a bored-looking Justin Finch-Fletchley, doodling on what appeared to be his schedule.

Puzzled, Mandy drew out her schedule again. How could she have missed that they had Charms with the Hufflepuffs this year? But there it was, written down nice and neat in Professor Flitwick's small letters. She shook her head to clear it. This Draco business was messing her up. She then carefully placed her bag in a seat as far away from Lisa and Terry as possible before hurrying yet again out the door towards the girls' bathroom on the second floor. It was always out-of-order, but it was rather nice that way, without other girls to ignore her. She was nearly there when she unexpectedly flew and skid across the floor.

_"Trip jinx," _she noted. It somehow didn't cross her mind that someone had purposely put a spell on her.

"Trying to get yourself some attention?" a voice drawled lazily above her.

She slowly picked herself up and turned to see who had spoken. Draco Malfoy stood in front of her, his infamous smirk wide across his pale, pointed face. A gang of Slytherins, Vincent, Gregory, Pansy, and Millicent Bulstrode included, stood behind him, laughing.

"No," Mandy answered him quietly, not making eye contact as she began to pick up the various items, her wand included, that had fallen out of her robes during her fall.

Draco turned to the small crowd of Slytherins around him. "Now, come on, that's not very nice, she fell. Move along now, nothing to see here," he told them in what would have been a sincere manner had he been able to keep the smile off his face.

The crowd cleared as Mandy finished replacing her belongings back in the pockets of her robes and stood. Draco was still nearby. Why hadn't he gone away with the other Slytherins? She could not think of a reasonable explanation.

"Listen, Brocklehurst," the blonde began with something less than his usual confidence, "can you, er," he glanced around as if checking for teachers, or maybe even eavesdroppers, "can you keep secrets?"

Mandy blinked. Something odd was going on here, that much she knew. Since when did Draco tell people secrets? Since when, she reminded herself, did someone like him ever speak to someone like her? She was invisible to everyone but the professors and the occasional ghost. She nodded slowly. It was the only way she'd get her questions answered. And it would put something different in her life for once, spice it up a bit.

Draco smirked. "Of course you can, a loner like you doesn't have anyone to tell!" He laughed malevolently at his own joke. When she didn't reply, he beckoned her closer and hissed into her ear. "If Parkinson calls me darling one more time I swear I'll hex her. I'm not interested in her one bit."

Mandy drew back. This was interesting. All the Ravenclaws in her year seemed to think Draco liked Pansy, or at least the attention she gave him. But here he was telling her that the situation was the complete opposite. She had a lot to think about.

"If anyone hears about this you're going to regret it," Draco warned with a growl, watching her carefully.

"I know," she murmured in response, nodding her head as he stalked off and disappeared, his bag clunking against his side.

Noticing the halls were almost completely empty, Mandy quickly turned around and walked back upstairs to the Charms classroom. She hadn't really needed to use the bathroom, anyway. It was just something to do to fill up the dull time lapse between her lessons, just another diversion from her growing problem.

Impulse

_It doesn't make_

_Any sense_

_What I want to do_

_It doesn't make_

_Any sense_

_What I have to do_

_Impulse_

_What I want to do_

_Impulse_

_What I have to do_

_Impulse_

_It doesn't make_

_Any sense_


	3. Millions of questions

Mandy slowly lowered her new Herbology book and checked what the other girls in her dormitory were up to.

Lisa was absent, likely down in the common room with Terry. Morag MacDougal sat on Padma's bed, stubbornly trying to change her gray cat, Athol, into a dog while Padma brushed Morag's messy red hair.

"_Bestiamuto!_" Morag cried, flicking her wand downward. Athol's stubby tail became longer and yellow, but it remained a cat. Morag tried again. "_Bestia_muto!" This time the cat grew larger.

Eden Du sat on her own bed, located right next to her friend Padma's, and was busy meticulously arranging her belongings. Some objects went on the chair next to her bed, others on the windowsill of the window directly behind it, and yet others were placed in her bed or under it. Those items that stayed in her trunk were being carefully arranged as the number of things in it emptied.

Deciding there was nothing happening that was different from what usually went on in the Ravenclaw dormitory, Mandy set her book aside and quietly pulled the curtains around her bed shut. She needed time to herself now.

Why in Merlin's name had Draco asked her if she could keep secrets? He must be desperate for a listening ear. But why couldn't he talk to any of his fellow Slytherins? Vincent, or Gregory, or Pansy, or any of the others that belonged to the group that was constantly with him? Whatever he wanted to talk about must be something he didn't want them to hear. She could see how he wouldn't want what he had told her about Pansy going around, at least. But what else was he trying to hide from them?

And what had pushed him over the edge? Everyone had secrets they had never told a soul. Why did Draco all of a sudden feel the urge to share his? Well, his father _was_ in prison. That occurrence had probably turned his life inside-out. Perhaps he was trying to prove to himself that his father, some Draco had always boasted about, was truly a bad person. Or perhaps it was the opposite. There was no telling what went on inside Draco's head after today. After today….

Triumphant shrieks broke Mandy's train of thought. A medium-sized golden dog was now running around the dormitory, chased by Padma and Eden. Morag still sat on Padma's bed, smiling proudly at the sight.

Mandy sighed. There were too many distractions in here to think properly. She got up and pulled on her black robes before walking out of the dormitory. Soon she was heading down the staircase and weaving her way out of the common room. There was no one in the corridor outside the entrance to Ravenclaw Tower, but Mandy hardly noticed. She wandered the castle in a dream-like state, deep in thought.

The whole thing didn't make any sense, no matter how she looked at it. And the worse part was that she was spending all of her time thinking about Draco rather than her own problem. Listening to Draco's secrets would get her nowhere. But, somehow, oddly enough, she was still attracted to the mysteries she might unravel by going along with his little game…

She was on the fourth floor when a hand reached out and pulled her roughly into an unused classroom.

"What are you doing here, Brocklehurst?" a male voice demanded in her ear, "Isn't your common room a few floors up from here?"

Mandy stiffened. She recognized that voice. "Draco?"

Her captor turned her around, still with a rough manner, and backed her up against the door to close it. Gray eyes flashed dangerously beneath a black hood. Mandy had guessed right.

"Watch your mouth, Brocklehurst. And answer my question."

His grip on her arms was so tight, they felt like they would explode at any moment. The burning sensation in them was driving her crazy. She tried to pull away, but he only held her tighter.

"I was…going to do research, in the library….Malfoy," she added in a whisper.

"It's half an hour after seventh-year curfew. The library is closed. _What were you doing?_" Draco demanded, his voice shaking slightly.

"I…I…I-"Mandy stammered breathily. She could barely think straight, he was so frightening.

He let go of her left arm and slapped her across the face. It began to smart instantaneously, and she was sure it had left a mark.

"Tell me!"

Suddenly, Mandy's head cleared and she could think again. Her free hand flew to her robes pocket and drew out her wand.

"_Impedimenta!_" she said clearly, pointing her wand straight at Draco's chest. Her voice was calm and steady now.

Draco was blasted off his feet and onto his back a ways away. His hood slipped off to reveal his white-blond hair and pale face. He was clearly shocked that she had dared to hex him.

"_Locomotor Mortis!_" Mandy added, her wand still pointed at him, "_Expelliarmus!_"

She caught his wand and carefully placed it a good twelve feet away from his fallen body. Then she slowly walked out of the room, leaving the door open behind her. As she passed the dark library, she heard a weak "Brocklehurst?" from behind her, but ignored it. Her Draco-free life started right here, right now.

In-Between

_I__ like you, I hate you_

_You annoy me, inspire me_

_You're polite, you're rude_

_You're cute, you're ugly_

_I like you, I hate you_

_Stop doing this_

_Keep on_

_You're nice, you're nasty_

_You're sweet, you're sour_

_I like you, I hate you_

_I'm in-between_


End file.
